I just realized this today! A-ha! How dumb can I be? I've been thinking all this time (this time being 6 and a half years since the twins were born) that if you as a parent were doing your parenting job the right way, it would be easy. If everything wasn't going along easily, then you haven't figured out the right way to do things yet. What a dumb idea! Of course it's not going to be easy. Of course there will be bumps, sometimes gigantic bumps, in the road. If your personality is like mine, then you have a need to do the right thing. Find the right thing and do it. So of course, if what I do doesn't work, I take it personally and decide that I didn't choose the right thing. No matter how I choose to react or what plan I choose to implement, I'm dealing with 4 little people with their own ideas, personalities, strong wills, etc. who are completely out of my control. In society, if your kid is acting up, it seems the attitude is that "that kid is out of their parents' control". I feel like standing up, raising my hand, and shouting, "Yes! You're right. I have absolutely no control over these people. They may look like me, but they definitely do their own thing."
In writing this, I make it sound like my children are a bunch of hooligans. Definitely they're not. I just get frustrated because I'm such a "do the right thing" person that it makes me frustrated when I don't feel that my efforts towards helping my children make good choices about their behavior are working.
Anyway, when Lou Lou was younger (from mid-two to five), she was tough. When I say tough, I mean behavior-wise. She was a handful with a feisty attitude. I have several stories to catch up on about her. She has mellowed a lot in the last year and a half, thankfully.
Meanwhile, the Bear was very mild-mannered and willing to do as asked most of the time. Not a complete angel, but close. Well, in the last two months, his strong will has caught up with his sister's. We've been working on it and talking about it. Yesterday he had a pretty good day, but messed up right at the end. He said, "Well, there's no reason for me to look forward to Christmas, but the way I've been acting, I won't get anything from Santa Claus." He was not crying but disappointed when he was saying this, but I still thought it was so sweet and cute. I don't really push the Santa Claus bit about being good so that you'll get something. Santa Claus comes because it's Christmas, not because of good behavior. However, the twins have picked up on the being good idea from society.
Oh well, I guess I need to tell him that he has six months to turn this boat around:).
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